Strange things happen on weird days..

darkness is followed by day light..
n sorrow by happiness..

yesterday i lost most games to players with average level of competency at pool..
i wasn't happy.. for one it was embarassing and second i love a game for as long as i am winning..:P

today i thought i am gonna loose again..
had no hope to win..
decided to play against 2 people at the same time..
n just to make my predicted defeat less painful and embarassing..
i decided to play handicap.. i.e., with only one hand..

n jus when i thought i am about to loose..
i won.. I BLOODY WON!!

n it was miraclously a respectable victory..
not a lucky fluke..

THE MORALE OF THE STORY IS..

whts in livin without unpredictability??
a failing in life is necessary to appreciate the success in the end!!

i wish u were with me,
i wish we were together,
i wish i could hold ur hand,
i wish we could stay like that forever.

i see u with my eyes closed,
wanna see u when they are open,
i see u in my dreams,
see us livin together.

i want to knw u in n out,
want to be the closest,
i want to be there for u,
want u to knw that.

i don't say i like u,
don't say i want u,
don't say i need u,
do i need to say???

I can't live without u,
thts all i hav to say.

i walk alone,
alone i walk,
street to street,
in day, through night..

i see my hand in lonely night,
i wish someone be on my side,
to hold my hand n share the sight,
the shining stars, the street lights..

i walk alone in the rain,
with tears in eyes, heart filled with pain,
i wish someone was there to see,
the child in me, n smile back to me..

i wish there was someone to say,
i love u too, no matter what,
i care..

Everyone of us have had attaraction for a fantasy world in some point of time of our life for sure.. we want to live in a world full of magic.. or some world which is better than ours..
or just different..
but have we ever wondered how it would be if this world became that fantasy itself..
have we ever thought of it as a role playing game.. where we have missions to complete..
to get a job.. to get to a good university.. to find a life partner.. isn't it like a fantasy world itself..
when we are expecting something to happen real bad.. it doesn't!! and sometimes..
when we don't want something to happen, it does happen.. its like putting forth challenges..
at every point.. we are fighting our own will, to do what needs to be done, rather than what we like to do..
but what amuses me the most is.. the end!!
what's gonna happen in the end of this game.. are we like mere characters in the god's play?
Just a tiny part of this fantasy world.. a small contribution..
what is there waiting for us in the end?? We have sort of a game plan for the entire life..
this is what we want.. this is how we can get it.. this much time it will take us to get it..
but no one knows abt the end.. no one cares much..
what's the point of getting rich.. and having a wife n children if one day, u'll have to leave them all..
what's waiting for us?? How is this fantasy world gonna end for us??
is it different for all of us?? or is it the same??
every religion talks about a different concept.. they all have a different theory.. and
a different explanation.. they all can't be right.. but they all can be wrong..
how are we supposed to know who is right??
which path is correct?? which one to follow??
what if all our lives we work hard and follow the so called "rightious path" and with "honesty" and "devotion to god" and in the end.. if all of it doesn't make us any different from others who earned their living by cutting other people's throats..
wouldn't we be pissed off??
wouldn't we feel like fools?? that we didn't enjoy our lives as much as we could have if we wouldn't have been worrying about doing the right thing all that time..

what should we do??

I hav been tryin real hard to get a job for almost an yr now..
n it came from i least expected..
i hav been askin everyone i met to sort me out..
n guess what??
someone really did..:D
so the key to findin a job is.. to hav good friends..:b

To get a job is my need..

i hav been tryin all tht long.. but havn't been able to get myself a job..

will i ever get a job????

now i feel like i don't hav any skills atall to get myself a job..

wht can i do?? how can i get myself a job??

should i try improving on my skills?? or should i just keep tryin no matter wht??

wht should i do??????????????

the more i try.. the more i feel i m lost..

but this has to end.. and its got to end soon..
i'll get myself a job by the end of this month no matter wht..

Life is so ironic..

now tht i hav got mah licence to drive cars all over India.. i m no longer in India..

n here in UK.. i'll hav to apply for a driving licence once again if i wanna drive..

Its not atall fair..

why can't they hav one universal driving licence which would work anywhere around the world..

nice thought by the way.. isn't it??

I had been driving mah dad's car for almost a month n a half now..

n havn't been able to drive it proper..

n now.. today.. i drove mah uncle's car.. which was a blunder i must say..

the clutch was harder to press.. n the gears weren't as smooth.. n pick up was more..

on the whole.. i screwed up big time.. n scared them all so much.. tht they were literally
praying to get back home safe n sound with the car..

on the whole.. i m still miles away from gettin mah drivin licence.. lolzzzzzz...

Sometimes in our life.. we all go through a phase where we have to face the bitter truth..

The truth mah heart kept ignoring,
the fire in me tht kept exploring,
comes the day i need no lies,
the truth, bitter be, breaks the ice.

My love for u had never died,
i had to do wht i did n lied,
there is no us in this life,
i wish i had not to defy.

The more i think,
the more i cry,
why there is still,
a reason to lie.

Its not so easy for me to lie,
i did n lied, gave away my pride,
can't hold the burden anymore,
u heard the truth, don't hurt no more.

I don't know how to tackle,
the pain i feel's kinda miracle,
the feeling is new for me for sure,
will i ever be as before.

Now i can't help imagine,
u n him, like fish n fin,
it hurts me, donno why,
i thought its over, i won't cry.

But now i feel i want to die,
can't lie anymore, don't wanna cry,
i hope it'll all fade with time,
gone will be these days of mime.

Whether or not mah poem rhymes,
the feelings are true and are all mine,
pain is all i am left with now,
u be happy, i pray n bow.

(P.S.-this doesn't represent me, just a creation, my imagination.. lolz..)

Well.. mah best friend spent her summer in U.S. this year..

she is comin back on monday.. but sadly.. i won't be there at the airport to recieve her..
as i m in India myself..

I always wanted to go to U.S. n work there..

but she.. after been to many places there.. rite from niagra falls.. to animal safari in national parks.. she still didn't find anythin much interestin to bound her to live there..

she spent time shoppin.. ridin some of the most amazin rollercoasters of the world.. drivin on the broad roads at high speed.. n enjoyin as much as one could..

(moral of the story.. London rocks..)